We recently had a problem with the phone. We called France Telecom and the customer service drone checked the line. "There's a problem between you and the exchange," we were told. "We'll get on to it."

The next day, an engineer turned up at our house. We hadn't asked for him, but we figured it showed admirable diligence.

He was in a bad mood. He didn't like the way our dog was barking (although Zola was shut safely in the bathroom). "Il n'est pas méchant," I said, adding that Zola is all noise and no danger. "Everyone says that," grumbled the engineer.

He tutted and fretted as I had trouble retrieving the phone cable from behind my desk. He cursed when I explained that, actually, the line comes in via another room. I showed him where and left him to it, as I couldn't stand the waves of arrogant negativity he was giving off. I waited in the living room.

He arrived to say that there's no problem with the line, that it must be our equipment. (He was right, as it happened: it turned out to be a fried base station for our DECT phones.)

He left, muttering.

And that was that, I thought. Until we got our next bill.

Most of our phone calls are made either locally (and are included in the basic price) or via Skype. Our monthly bill is generally little more than the basic package price.

This time, there was a €69 additional charge. On closer inspection it turned out we'd been charged for an engineer's visit that had not succeeded because we were not at home.

Which, of course, is untrue.

I'd hazard a guess that our grumpy engineer - possibly an anglophobe (they exist) - had vented his anger by ticking the 'not in' box on his job sheet. Trish called France Telecom and told them in no uncertain terms that this wasn't true. They said that we'd have to pay but that the sum would be reimbursed on the next bill. (How nice for them that they get to enjoy our money for a month - money they took from us with no justification at all.) We haven't had the next bill yet. We'll be checking it carefully.

I'd like to give France Telecom the benefit of the doubt and assume this is a one-off. But no.

Some friends of ours, just down the road, have been having problems with their phone and broadband. I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say that another friend, Greg, and I went to their house to help. Greg was there to speak to France Telecom (his French is excellent). I was there to provide technical support and a mobile phone: France Telecom will call you back, but only on a French mobile and our friends still have a UK mobile account.

This was on Monday.

We tried all the things the customer service rep told us to try, without success. Finally, it ended with, "we'll send an engineer on Friday".

After we'd hung up, I thought about the problem some more. Unplugging a phone from an extension line cleared up the problem. Phone and broadband service were resumed. But we decided not to phone France Telecom immediately, to cancel the engineer, in case the fix turned out to be temporary.

But the line kept working and so Greg called France Telecom on Wednesday to cancel the appointment. All well and good.

Until Friday morning. I got a text on my mobile (which is the number we'd given to France Telecom) to say that the engineer had tried to call and couldn't gain access because no-one was in. Sound familiar?

I called my friends. They'd got a call from France Telecom at 8am to say something similar. Of course, they were there the whole time. No engineer had ever knocked on the door. They told the customer service zombie that they'd cancelled the appointment. "No you didn't," she said. An argument ensued.

And France Telecom's final response? "We'll have to charge you."

And so that's two occasions within a few weeks where France Telecom is charging for a call-out, claiming that the customers weren't at home. In one case, the engineer actually gained access to the house, but presumably ticked the 'not in' box because we hadn't requested the visit and that was the only way of charging us for it. In the other case, the engineer simply didn't turn up.

What's that if not a scam?